Wednesday, June 1st, 2016.
Sitting in Den Hague, where i arrived yesterday evening, at a coffe & tea bar to get some work done. And to write this blog (it’s getting tiresome to always just sit on the boat ;).
Had a nice bike-tour along the beach promenade yesterday nite. Though it did remind me very much of Mamaia beach after the end of the season. All bars and places (still) open, with colorful lights and (loud) music, but hardly any people around. Quite depressing. Does not really comfort my solitude. But, as to cheer me up, at the end of the promenade an (empty) bar was playing “Follow the Sun”.
I generally observe myself being somewhat on an emotional rollercoaster ride. For me almost everything is new. I have not been a real handyman before coming on the boat. And in addition all the work on the boat is brand new. Drilling a hole in the hull scares the shit out of me. Well, the last four (for the AIS-antenna cable) were already much easier and better than the very first one. But in general all is new. And everything i do is something i have to “force” myselft into doing.
I am still scared of leaving a port (cover picture shows the swell of the last day hitting the breakwater when was leaving IJmuiden). But it’s not fear of the things that are out there; it’s a very fuzzy anxiousness that kind of lames me. Every departure is a struggle. Starting every new task is a struggle. And there is no-one around who i can talk to and use this talk as an outlet for this unspecific anxiousness.
Then again is the great joy of coming into a new, beautiful place. And to me they all look beautiful. Might it be because their industrial charm reminds me of Russia (IJmuiden did do that very much), or because a sun-lit inner-city harbor just reflects the spirit of the people living here (IJburg, Hoorn, Enkhuizen or Scheveningen), or because it is a beautiful small fishing village (Marken, Oudeschild), or because there is some emotional connection (Den Helder as home of Fair Transport, Tres Hombres and Nordlys), or because of their intrinsic charme (Sixhaven), or because they just are (Den Oever, Broekerhaven). But also then, after the first rush of endorphines and happiness settles, i’d like to share the moment. And it is a bit sadening to not be able to do so. And no, modern communication technology is great, but it cannot do that 😉 ).
Well… let’s get some work done. And have a stroll in the city. And prepare for the next leg. And the passing of Rotterdam’s entrance 😉
(Cover image: waves breaking at Scheveningen’s breakwater when leaving port)